"If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life." Humphrey Bogart

Monday, April 4, 2011

Getting my edumacation on


Although I love the thought of eventually graduating with a master's in Linguistic Anthropology the action of getting there is making me anxious. This semester has been the most difficult maybe because it started January 10th and not 12 days later was I in the hospital giving birth. With late nights, dirty diapers, and being overly sleep deprived, I juggled my online classes as well. Most people would say I was crazy and that I should have taken the semester off. But if you know me, I usually don't listen to what most people say. lol! As this semester ends (one month, one month, one month) I have learned more then what my 12 units have offered me. I also have become so truly greatful for the power that education brings. I am excited to set a good example for Nikos and showing him that you can be whatever you want to be with dedication and hard work (wow that same speech sounds oddly familiar. Maybe I tuned it out about 4 years ago!). This summer I will be continuing my online math class (I hate math and dread that I have to complete up to Calculus...yuck!) and taking a communications class. So I will have lots of time for my baby boy and CRAFTS! I have so many things to refurbish, create, and so many ideas to make a reality. But until then (one month, one month, one month) I will suffer in silence as I complete this semester. At least I have Nikos to keep me entertained. He is my best pal! lol

Thursday, March 31, 2011

All smiles :)

My 11lb 8oz, 22 inch, almost 2 and a half month old is all smiles these days! Enjoy :)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Just some pictures to keep you occupied!

We have made it! Yes, we HAVE survived! (Not without testing out all the "don'ts" to find the "do's" of course) But here we are 5 weeks and 4 days later. My beautiful child has 2 arms, 2 legs, a head (not so much full of hair but hey! we are getting there), and one full stomach which is always full of gas. :) It is a difficult task caring for a newborn all by yourself and I give props to all the single mom's out there! I do get my husband every once in awhile and when I do... no diaper changes for me! lol My Mom has been an amazing help to me. Nikos is a colicky baby and she seems to be able to calm him down. She babysits him for me while I go to the gym, run errands, and do my homework. She is my "step-in husband" while Matt can't be around. So THANK YOU MOM! You help me stay sane and if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! (That's about as hick as I get folks!) So sit back and enjoy the pictures of my NOW 9lb 5oz, 22inch long, with a head circumference of 14inches (wow kid you have grown!), baby boy Nikos!
Ok so you can see the top of his head but this is from my birthday in Newport beach :)
Holding his head up all by himself!
Just woke up :) This is the sight I see every morning. How can you have a bad day after waking up to this?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

They don't call it LABOR for nothing...

So here is my birth story :) or rather my baby's birth story and my near death experience...

I was scheduled for an induction on January 21st, 2011 at 5am. I really wanted to go naturally but I also was dealing with anxiety and high blood pressure due to the reality that Matt might not make it back in time to see our baby be born. My doctor was really nice and decided that it was a good idea to induce to guarantee that Matt would be there. I still had hope that maybe I would still go naturally somehow. That did not happen.

We arrived at the hospital at 5am to check in. We basically sat around for the first hour waiting to be escorted to labor and delivery. Until FINALLY someone came and got us and showed us to our room. I changed into my beautiful hospital gown (yuck) and got hooked up to an IV to constantly give me fluids. They put the monitor for my contractions and the fetal monitor on my belly and started the pitocin (it helps start labor and create consistent contractions). I was already contracting when I came to the hospital but they weren't strong and not consistent. Well, within minutes of starting the pitocin I began contracting but they would wear off shortly after. The nurse was scheduled to come in every half hour to increase the pitocin and check my contractions. So this went on for the next 12hrs (6am to 6pm). Finally they decided that after no progression, they would start me on cervadil. Cervadil helps ripen the cervix and makes it more favorable to induction and eventually labor. I had this in for the next 12hrs. The most exciting part about starting this was that I was finally able to eat! (I hadn't ate anything since 7pm the night before because I went to bed early so I was able to get up at 4am) At 6am the next morning they removed the cervadil and started me on pitocin. I was 100% effaced but still only 1 and half centimeters dilated! By this point I was disappointed and tired. I felt like this was never going to happen for me. They put me back on pitocin and came back to check me an hour later to see if anything had happened. I had dilated to a 2. Not a BIG difference but at least it was something! 5 hours later at 12pm my doctor stopped by to check me again and determine what we should do. When he checked me I was still at a 2! What the heck! I was so frustrated! But he decided he was going to break my water and get things going. After he broke my water (weirdest feeling ever) I immediately started getting contractions. They were horrible! I labored without an epidural for about an hour and a half. At that point I thought I was going to die. Dramatic? NO. The weirdest part was that I labored in silence. I didn't want to talk, I barely moaned, and didn't even think about screaming or whimpering. I just breathed and rocked back and forth. I scared Matt a bit and he said that it was like I was in my own world. I also was shaking uncontrollably the whole time. I guess that is how my body responds to pain. My teeth were chattering and it was like my whole body had a twitch. So when that epidural came... I WAS IN HEAVEN! How my mom labored with 6 kids and had to pain medication is beyond me! I have so much more respect for that woman! lol the first thing I said after the epidural was "I think I am going to live!". I was still shaking after the epidural but I couldn't feel the pain. And the greatest part was that I could still move my legs. I wanted to be able to push but not be in pain and the epi doctor did a great job in helping me with that! They checked me again after an hour and lo and behold I was already at 4cm! Then an hour later... 7cm! Matt and I were in complete shock. All the sudden it felt real. This was going to happen, we were going to meet our baby! An hour after that I was at 9cm! Then I was scared. Reality hit. Oh crap. But I was stuck at a 9cm for 5 hours! I was becoming more and more anxious. Finally the doctor said that I was going to push at 9 and a half centimeters and they were going to massage my cervix to help it dilate to a 10. At this point, my epidural had worn off. I immediately started crying. I could feel everything and I was denied anymore pain medication. Matt coached me through the whole thing. He grabbed my right leg and counted through each contraction. What a trooper! Well I pushed for 45 min and not only had my cervix dilated to a 10, I was CROWNING! The first thing I asked Matt was "Does the baby have hair?!" lol, well it did. At that point the nurse told me to stop pushing so she could call my doctor to come to the hospital. Wait... WHAT?! He wasn't even around?! Well it took him 20min to get there and that was the WORST part about my whole labor. How could I not push when that was all my body wanted to do?! As soon as he got there it only took about 15min and.... NIKOS APOLLO TORRES WAS BORN! We didn't know the sex so Matt was the one to yell out "ITS A BOY"! They put Nikos on my stomach and cleaned him up and I just couldn't stop crying. Even thinking about it now makes me tear up. Matt had the biggest grin too. That moment will forever be one of the most amazing experiences. Immediately I was painless and all the hard work had paid off.

I have never experienced a love like this. It is so different then the love I feel for Matt and for my family. I can't describe how it feels to be a mother. It's like he has been here my whole life and I think in a way he sort of has been. I am beyond happy.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Nikos Apollo Torres

Well I am probably going to share my labor story in another blog post. As for now, I will introduce my beautiful gift from God. He is such a sweet blessing to our little family. Both me and Matt have said multiple times that we can't imagine life without him. We both catch ourselves in awe of him and constantly praise how adorable he is. It has been a rough start for this mama, but it is so worth it! I cannot believe that God has trusted both Matt and myself with this responsibility. I am forever grateful for this sweet spirit. I have so much to look forward to! So without further ado....

Nikos Apollo Torres
Born January 22, 2011
6lbs 5oz and 20 1/2 inches long!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


I spent 2 and half hours Monday night at St. Agnes Labory and Delivery! I was having contractions and lower back pain so they hooked me up to the monitor, took my blood pressure, and checked my cervix. I was definitely having contractions so they asked me to walk around the hospital for an hour to try and dilate some more. Mind you it was 12am :( but luckily enough Matt is home and so he was able to be there with me. We got to see some newborns and met a lot of the staff. I was really hoping that we would be able to stay and that it was the real thing! But at 1am they checked me again and no progress! DARN! I was so uncomfortable and was cramping even more after being checked twice for dilation. I know I am about to birth a baby... but cervix checks HURT SO BAD! UGH! I hate them. The nurse even tried to stretch my cervix to get me to dilate more so I could stay. The nurse kept apologizing cause she could see my pain. I figure I have to get used to it, right? lol

So... anyways... I went in to see my doctor this morning and he said that since I am having contractions and my cervix is favorable, we could schedule an induction. THANK YOU LORD! And that is a sincere thank you! I am ready (as much as a first time mom can be) for this baby! So no matter what... the baby will be here on FRIDAY! F-R-I-D-A-Y! Now all the sudden I am scared and excited, but definitely anxious. I have so many emotions now that I know a for sure day the baby will arrive. I hope that somehow I go naturally before then... Pitocin (medicine to help dilate) brings on strong and never ending contractions. So the whole natural route will be detoured from and drugs WILL be involved. I will still try to go without an epidural but I am no super woman and I also want a relaxing and calm environment for my labor. I can't believe I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I will NOT miss being pregnant and WILL enjoy my new adventure of being a mommy. WISH ME LUCK!

5am. Friday. :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Baby Shower, Christmas, New Year's... am I behind? Maybe a little.

Yes, it has been awhile. But what can I say? I am a busy girl. :)

Matt came home this month for 3 whole weeks! It was such a blessing. We were really praying that the baby would decide to make it's entrance during the time so Matt would for SURE be there. But, I am posting today 1/13/2011... and still no baby! lol At my appointment yesterday my doctor said the baby is still thriving and that he is wanting to go with our second due date. I had 2 due dates... 1. from my LMP 2. my early ultrasound date. So January 28th? uhhhh... too far away! Don't get me wrong I have mostly enjoyed being pregnant but I am one of those people that won't miss being pregnant after the baby comes. The whole point of this journey was to birth a baby. So ya the indigestion, constipation, horrible skin, gaining weight, barely being able to tie my shoes, rolling in/out of bed and on/off the couch, and hormones WILL NOT BE MISSED! Goodbye... and don't come back! (well, for awhile at least hehe)
My Mom, sisters, and Shelly Petty gave me a wonderful baby shower on Dec. 11th! The theme was "Woodland" and the decorations were awesome! Unfortunately we didn't get many pictures "before" the chaos started, but we did get a few! Here are some pictures....

On the same day, I had ANOTHER baby shower from my in-laws. I feel really blessed for everything that was given to us. I honestly hardly had to buy anything myself! We have tons of diapers which will probably last us at least 2 months (on the average that the baby needs a change 10-12x a day) and tons of wipes! I really couldn't believe how generous everyone was. It was wonderful.

Of course, Christmas happened at some point in December. The 25th, maybe? lol Well, we were spoiled! Matt bought me a Sephora Blockbuster makeup kit that has over 100 eyeshadows, 80 lipglosses, 8 liquid eyeliners, 3 regular eyeliners, 3 lipliners, brushes, and mascara. IN LOVE! I also got Michael Kor's Very Hollywood perfume. If you haven't had the opportunity to smell that... get on it! His parents got us a new vacuum :) and then my parents got us a new vacuum. lol So we took my parents vacuum back and got some movies, a bookcase, and some XBOX games that we could play together. I bought Matt clothes, clothes, more clothes, shoes, and clothes. That's all he wanted! Which is understandable because he definitely needed a new wardrobe (love ya honey!). But beside all the "stuff" we got, the best present was honestly being able to be together. He live so far away and during our first year of marriage I feel like we have been away more then together. I loved being with him for the holidays. MANY MORE TO COME! New Years was uneventful. We were going to go to the dance that the Church was putting on but I was too tired. Poor pregnant me. lol The funny thing about that is, MATT ENDED UP FALLING ASLEEP! By around 1045pm. HAHA! I woke him up at 12 and told him Happy New Year and he sat up and was like, "Huh? It's already midnight." lol Then we kissed (aw adorable) and went to bed. Very uneventful, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Now it's JANUARY!

I have lot's of new years resolutions. First and foremost... I will have a baby! :) And then, I will lose the weight. Here's a preview of the rest...

  • Learn a new instrument
  • Keep studying Italian
  • (this is a surprise)
  • Learn to be a little more patient
  • stay in school
  • Create better eating habits!
Matt's resolutions (which I swear he picked one's that he is already good at! lol)
  • Get into shape
  • be a good dad
  • be a better husband
  • set a job up for when I am done with the Army
  • Go to Disneyland (not really a resolution, but I am not gonna argue!)
I know this is going to be an exciting and busy year! I am so excited for everything to come. I will try better to update more often... but no promises! haha The next post will most likely be after the baby gets here. So stay tuned!
This is my 38/40 week belly... Oh and this is my "after baby body".... HAHAHAHAHA!

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